Tonight was Crave...which is the Youth worship service at my church, SMBC. I always enjoy going to church on Wednesday nights. I like it because it seems to break up my week and refresh me. It usually helps to point me in the right direction and gives me encouragement to finish the week strong in Jesus. Anyway, the point. Tonight Melanie Dill was speaking. She really gave me some thoughts to think about. She talked about stewardship. How we need to be good stewards of relationships with believers and pre-believers. What really hit me is when she talked about aunthenticity. She was saying that the best way to be in a relationship is to be REAL. To be aunthentic in who you are, what you believe, what you're going through. And that really struck a chord in me i guess. I guess i realize that i haven't been fully honest with certain people who are some of my best friends. I can think of one specifically. And, that's not good really. Because i don't know...maybe me being dishonest with them about this thing is a wall in our friendship. I've gone through a similar experience before...however, each experience is different...maybe i need to do what the song, Just So You Know says..."Gotta say it all before i go..just so you know". It's so frustrating. I'm just not sure what i need to do. I'm not sure what GOD wants me to do. I absolutely canNOT imagine telling this person...but...what if i should? what if i need to?? it's all too confusing. And it makes me feel vulnerable. Which i guess is something i need to be. Also, i feel like i'm not quite my real self here in the USA...like maybe i'm holding back...maybe i need to just be ME here. maybe the people here will still love me for who i am...and maybe it'll be good for me to be authentic with them. i just don't know. and it's sort of scary in a way...
Just a Thought...
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3 comments:
wow...thats SO cool Becca! and definately be urself. We love you over here for who u are and i know ppl in america will too! love you becca!
When I think of "authentic", I think of you, Candle. First person. But honestly, it's an encouragement to me that you struggle with that too. Like.. not knowing how much of yourself you should show to certain people. I fake on so many occasions it's not even funny. Whether it's trying to be sweet and good, or trying to fit in and be cool.. I've given in so many times. Lord knows sometimes this girl just doesn't learn!! :) I don't have to tell you what you should do when it comes to being real with people. Of course you should be yourself! But I know there's something or someone else on your heart. It's true, sometimes you're not supposed to tell everyone everything. It's really wise of you to seek the Lord. So you'll know what you should say to that person.. and what you shoulnd't. I'll lift you up, k? I love you deeply, girl. You don't even know. :)
you told him an its hopefully workin out good. or atleast okay. you probably already learned to be yourself while you were there cause so many people that you left behind there saw who you really are an still love you. so that's good. i miss having you here.
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