The Voice

Impossible
The voice screams in my ear
When you're looking at me like that
It's your imagination
Is all i hear
When we stand together like this
He can't love you
Hisses the voice
As we go for a walk
You're not good enough
The voice taunts
As i look in the mirror in your eyes
He doesn't want you
The voice screams
I shiver and pull away
He'll never want you
The voice drives it home
As i pick up speed, faster and faster
You are unlovable
The voice reminds me
I throw myself down
You are ugly
The voice assures me
As i wish for your hand in mine
No guy will ever love you or need you or want you
The voice plays like a song in my head
My heart is shredded
No one. Never. No way.
The voice seems to be all i hear
It drowns out your words of love
It drowns out God's words of assurance
It drowns out that look in your eyes saying you want me
It drowns out my friends, saying its a lie
It drowns out all else
It has always been there
I can't imagine a day without it
It is apart of me
I believe the voice
I believe the lies
I believe them.
There is no way out.
No way at all.
For i am not good enough
I am not pretty enough
I am not funny enough
I am not smart enough
I am not godly enough
I will never be appealing to you
I will never be able to grab your hand
I will never feel the love i crave
For I am not enough.
I am never enough.
You try to grab my hand
I dont even notice
For the voice tells me it is pity in your eyes
Not love
The voice says the words "i love you" are all a big lie
I cry
The voice persists
I scream
The voice never lifts
I pray
The voice retreats
But it is still there.
A whisper on the edge of my conscious
It gnaws at me
It scrapes at me
It cleans my heart out
I am a shell.
A hurting shell
A shell that is being filled with a voice
A lying voice
But i dont know
How to shut it
up
out
down