Loneliness Personified

Loneliness Personified

Sketching the sky and the clouds and the sun
The paper and the pencil becoming one
She sighs and brushes her thumb across those longing lips
Blinking slowly and with precision
She pushes hard on the pencil
Certain of where her lines will take her
The shape of his hand comes easily
Memorized be hers
The rest of him follows quickly after
Sitting on a bench
Emptied of joy
Pausing to pick up her cup
She sips long—enjoying the icy cool
Of that lemonade that slides down her burning throat
Her soul knows what her heart doesn’t yet
A deep knowledge of the loneliness that isn’t just visiting
An unwanted guest that has taken up permanent residence in her guest room
She knew she should never have made it feel welcome
Breakfast and hot showers and conversation at the dinner table
She should have made it sleep in the garage or on that lumpy couch
So it would be anxious to leave
A sigh leaves her chest
Emptying her lungs and heart
Setting the glass down on the edge of the table
She takes up her pencil again
A new sheet of paper
A new truth to be laid forth (full or words she’ll never say)

Picking at the lifeless strings
He attempts to bring the beauty in him back to life
But it seems it is dead and gone and refusing to return
The glistening wood of his guitar is fading
As his eyes lose that shimmer that is inspiration
His voice manages to croak out her name
A half-whisper at dusk
It holds all the desperation that has eaten his heart alive
His hand tingles and he stretches his fingers
Slowly in and slowly out
The sudden warmth found there catches him off guard
It is gone as suddenly as it came
Once again the loneliness makes itself at home
Looking over his shoulder as he tries to write
The one letter that could change his life
Loneliness makes it clear that it won’t work
So he drops the pen
A half-written word and a few smudges
Are all he has to show for effort
Returning to his instrument
He longs to play for her again
Instead he takes it and puts it away
Locks the closet shut and sits on the cold tile in the kitchen
The ache in his bones is aggravated
But he likes the pain
Almost numb
Loneliness taps him on the shoulder and strikes up a mournful band
And he can’t stop the tears this time
A new sorrow to be sung
A new truth to be wrung (from his wash rag heart)

She packs up her pencils and pads of paper
Strewn around her in the park
She folds her picnic blanket
The time it takes her shows how it pains her
Every movement takes effort
Moving too quickly could easily break her
Dragging herself home
She walks up the steps and just stands there
The sigh that has been her constant companion makes its way from her chest
Loneliness answers the door
Assures her that there’s not fire at the hearth
Or tea kettle on the stove
There’s no warm blanket to be found
And the cold wind will surely blow through the cracks in her façade
Loneliness says this all with his grey mask in place
He hands her the mask he’s chosen for her
She takes it
Knowing she has no other choice
Tying the dull string in a knot behind her head
She resigns herself to this future
A new well of pain to be dug up
A new lie to be pinned up (in her hall of lonely fame)

He lays his head against the pane of glass in the front room
He watches another colorless sunset
Frost is clinging to his portal
As he breathes and realizes his breath is cold too
A product of the ice that has taken to his heart
Loneliness has become the host and he the guest
In a house full of grey water that laps at his ankles at all times
A bed that is always slightly damp with blankets that smell of mold
The cold can’t be edged away
And loneliness lets him know that it will always be this way
A tired acceptance fills his soul
He sits in his chair
Praying for sleep
Praying for her
Praying for the pain to someday be less
Just a fraction less
A new day to dawn
A new ending to be drawn (from the deck loneliness has dealt)

Two people who let the loneliness
Creep inside and steal their joy
They seemed to find it in every dust-filled corner
They blamed it for their problems
And decided it was right
Living with loneliness instead of each other
Though both sides of the bed were full
They couldn’t see each other anymore
Just the masks that loneliness had chosen for them to wear
And they obeyed it.